Jun 02 2008
I Like To Watch Porn…and for some reason, my husband is bothered by this
The Roommate, Hubby, and I are searching desperately for something to watch. Our Digital Video Recorder box erased all the shows that we had saved up (damn you, Verizon Fios!) including a new episode of Top Model. Well I was upset by that, my husband not so much…but I digress.
Roommate seizes control of the remote and starts flipping through the Premium channels. “How about we watch Bewitched Housewives?’” he jokingly asks while playing it on the screen.
The three of us stare as a blond bounces on top of a muscular man, crying lustfully. “Oh, I’ve seen this one already,” I say.
Two sets of wide eyes stare at me.
I continue. “That’s Evan Stone. He’s kinda creepy.”
Roommate begins to grin widely.
“And that’s Nicole Sheridan. She’s alright, more believable than most. At least she makes some noise…I hate when the girls are completely silent. I mean, I guess that’s okay for some people in real life, but I think a porn star shouldn’t be a dead fish!”
Roommate won’t stop grinning. Hubby is scowling. Uh-oh.
“So you like to watch porn a lot, don’t you?” he asks.
“Um…” I have no idea what to say at this point. I scan my brain and try to put together possible reasons for the scowling. Hmm, it can’t be because he’s upset that I’m talking about this so enthusiastically while Roommate is around. Otherwise he wouldn’t have continued with the topic.
“Well, it’s not like I’m into anything really hardcore or whatever…” Didn’t work, he’s still ticked. His forehead is all furrowed. What could he be thinking?
“You know, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s late at night, Skinimax is on, and I figure ‘Eh, what the hell’? Besides, you’d be surprised at the amount of good stuff that randomly pops up amidst the crap like Bikini Pirates.”
Silence from hubby, but Roommate lets out a huge bark of laughter. I glare at him to let him know that he is not helping the situation any.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” I huff. “Most men would be thrilled to hear that their wife watches porn.” I cross my arms and fall back against the sofa. I can’t understand why he’s being so insufferable.
Roommate has dissolved into a hysterical mess. He’s always so amused by our squabbles.
“Oh it’s interesting to know,” hubby finally responds. “So it was you who would randomly charge movies to the cable bill? I would have to fight tooth and nail to get those charges removed!”
Oops.
3 Responses to “I Like To Watch Porn…and for some reason, my husband is bothered by this”
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You should have told him earlier! He probably thinks you were keeping it a secret or something.
Or maybe he was ticked that you were talking about it so nonchalantly around the roomy; I don’t know his relationship with you all… think about it like this… (barring the roommate being an extremely close friend to both of you)… guys get turned on when girls talk about how they watch porn, or how they like porn or whatever. So if you’re talking about it around the roomy, you’re turning him on (not your fault) and that is reason enough for the hubby to get a little peeved. My girlfriend and I both enjoy porn (thoroughly) with each other and without each other, and the fact that we’re honest about it makes all the difference. You don’t want your man to think you’re “cheating” on him with porn.
Why don’t you try watching some with him?
So for the past several months your husband has been blaming the roommate for the charges. No wonder he collapsed from laughter after your admission.