Jun 08 2008
He Should Have Ducked
(The following is a testimony in case my husband decides to press charges.)
“Fuck!!” I screamed as I stubbed my toe on a car rim. I had just walked into the house and once again was injured while trying to avoid tripping over one of the many tires in the living room. My poor toes and shins had been black and blue for weeks and today was the last straw. I had no idea why my house had turned into the Subaru spare parts store, but I wasn’t standing for it anymore. I hobbled into the computer room where the hubby was clacking away at his keyboard like always.
“What the hell? When are you getting rid of the shit that’s all over our living room?” I demanded.
He kept typing away, unconcerned. “Don’t worry; I’m taking care of it.” “When?”
“Soon. Don’t worry.”
“Are you kidding me? That’s exactly what you said last week, and the week before, and the week before that! No, you need to get rid of everything right now. I’m tired of always bumping and tripping into shit.”
He glanced over to where I was standing with my arms crossed. “Is that the problem? Just move some things around if they’re in your way.”
“Fine, should I start with these expensive and heavy rims? Oh don’t help me, I’ll just drag them across the floor…I hope nothing gets scratched up.” I started to walk into the living room.
Hubby leaped from his computer chair. “Oh come on, don’t do that!”
I smirked. “You said I could just move everything, so that’s what I’m doing.”
As he started to stack sets of tires on top of each other, I focused my attention on the tools scattered everywhere.
“And why do you have all this crap out?”
“It makes it easier to find?” he unwisely joked.
I picked up a tool. “Really? You can’t spend the extra minute looking for this y-file in your tool box?”
“Um, actually no.”
“No? No you can’t?”
“That’s not what I meant. It’s just, that’s not a y-file. It’s called a rat tail file.” He looked smug. I hate how he manages to always be such a know-it-all.
“Okay then,” I said putting down the whatever file. I picked up a hammer. “Now don’t tell me this is called Mjolnir.” Ha, I could be a know-it-all too!
“Seriously, do you need this lying around? At least pile all the junk together on one side of the room.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll take care of it later.” Those words only ticked me off more. I began one of my usual rants while pacing and waving my arms around.
“You always say that! It’s so easy for you to put it off; you’re not the one getting hurt all the time…”
Hubby suddenly grabs his arm and cries out in pain. Hmm…perhaps I should have put down the hammer before gesturing wildly?
I couldn’t help but laugh. “See what I mean?”
One Response to “He Should Have Ducked”
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Venus I swear the above might have occured in my house. Funny!!