For a Pessimist, I am Pretty Optimistic

I’m sure this is the millionth time I’ve said this in my posts, but I always hated visiting my dad in the summer. Several years after he and my mom divorced, he moved to Miami, Florida which was supposed to be all sun and fun. It was anything but! Seriously, if they say that Florida is God’s waiting room, then my dad’s apartment complex must have been the examination room. Hmm…so does that make “check-out” the part when you hand the billing clerk your chart?

It wasn’t until the second summer that my dad developed a friendship with one of his co-workers, Dale that my summers became fun. Thank goodness for Dale; she had so much positive energy packed into her pixie self. Even as a child, I was aware of my over-active imagination and constantly felt like I was being humored by adults. With Dale, I felt like she was genuinely listening and genuinely enjoyed my company because of me, and not simply because I was a child. When she passed away several years later, I was crushed. She hadn’t told any of us that she had a heart condition, so there was no way to give me a ‘sick relative prep talk’.

 Almost everything she owned had been left to my dad. Most of what he was able to keep (Dale’s place had four bedrooms, my dad’s only two) went into his spare room which I slept in during vacations. So now besides the scattered fishing equipment, I had in my room Dale’s piano (my favorite instrument despite my lack of skill), bunches of stuffed cats (my favorite animal), and lots of purple décor (my favorite color).

Another influence Dale had was helping me to fall in love with classic movies. She owned stacks of videotapes, mostly classic movies. And I mean stacks, there was no other way to fit them in the room without stacking them on top of the other from the floor until they touched the ceiling (my current memory says that it was at least 15 columns). Each one was numbered and Dale had typed up lists, one alphabetized by title and the other in numerical order. I was partial to the comedies and musicals in color. For some reason, my little self had been conditioned by the Wizard of Oz to think that black and white meant boring.

With a recent subscription to Netflix and the addition of TCM in HighDef to my cable plan, I’ve been trying desperately to watch every movie that I had seen while pining away in Florida. Even with a jaded adult perspective, I’m still charmed by them. My husband hates to watch them with me, he complains “Ugh, that story has been done already,” No, I tell him; all of these were done first!

It’s because that I’ve known they were done first that I think little me took too much stock into the underlying morals. Sure, some have worked out for the best (such as I will always look both ways when crossing the street to meet my love at the Empire State Building) but others just don’t, and shouldn’t, apply to real life. Here are some others that have come to mind recently, along with actual nonsense conclusions little me had come up with…I’ll let you guess for yourself which is which!

1.       You can wave your finger in front of a bear’s snarling mouth and it won’t maul you (Turnabout).

2.       No one will recognize you if you put your coat collar up (any film noir movie).

3.       Becoming pregnant is all the man’s doing (My Blue Heaven).

4.       A pair of glasses and a baggy sweater equals ugly, even for Audrey Hepburn (Funny Face).

5.       All you need is a dream and un-wavering hope and you too will score a millionaire husband (practically every Marilyn Monroe movie)

6.       Men didn’t attend college until the were at least 30 (How to Become Very Popular)

7.       There’s “nothing to it” when smoking your first cigarette…not even a cough! (Roman Holiday)

8.       Anyone who lives in a mansion or plantation house is crazy/and or a murderer (What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, Sunset Boulevard and Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte)

9.       Having a baby makes everything better! (any comedy about a  bickering married couple)

10.   Leslie Nielsen was hot! (Tammy and the Bachelor)

11.   Even after Eleanor Roosevelt paved the way for women to join the Navy WAVES, you’re still nothing without a man (Skirts Ahoy!)

12.   If a man who’s dressed as a woman gets hit on by another man, the latter is fully aware that they are both men (Some Like it Hot)

13.   The French people and government are stupid (Funny Face, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes)

14.   Someone doesn’t love you unless they grab you buy the shoulders, press their cheek hard against yours, and hold it there.

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