For a Pessimist, I am Pretty Optimistic

Dear Jakob,

I know you must hate me, especially after I promised you we wouldn’t be back here again, and I’m sorry. Both your dad and I did everything we could to prevent this, but it was no use. Your condition has gotten worse than ever and we have no other options!

You must be so miserable. I remember how scared you were the last time we brought you to the emergency room. I wasn’t able to see you for hours; when I did you were shaking like a leaf. You’re probably even more scared now, but at least they say that the procedure won’t be long. At most, you’ll only need to stay there for the night.

When you come home, you’re going to have to rest and let you stitches heal up. This means that you’re not going to be allowed to run around the entire house. And you’ll have to be careful around your siblings. Your little brother is going to want to play all the time and won’t understand that he might accidently hurt you. Try to be nice to him and don’t smack him in the face.

Though you’ll probably end up hating me more than you already do now, once we get home I will be enforcing a strict diet for you. Its doctor’s orders and do you want to have to come back to the emergency room again? Don’t even think of pouting to your father. The doctor bills are very expensive!

While it will be hard, please understand that this is for your own good. If you listen to mommy and the doctor, then you’ll feel so much better and won’t be bloated or throwing up anymore. All you need to do is eat the right food.

So that means no more buffalo chicken, no more Papa John’s, no more Cinnamon Toast Crunch, no more Hamburger Helper. And ABSOLUETLY NO more plastic bags! Even though your eating habits were horrible before, it’s all those CVS bags in your stomach that are making you sicker!

I will be calling the vet in a few hours to find out what time we can pick you up. Hang in there…I wonder, would you appreciate a picture of a person hanging from a tree? Oh well, I’ll just buy you a pack of catnip mice.

Love,

Mommy

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