Jul 07 2008
Random Comparison: Porn and Chicken Wings
This has been said many times before, but it bears repeating; there is not enough fucking in porn.
Seriously, I’m getting so sick of the ridiculous time wasting dialogue. Why do they even bother with it at all? Sure, it can always rouse a chuckle but in a time where everyone is downloading their movies instantly, who actually bothers to sit through the boring shit instead of just skipping to the important scenes?
I can understand there are some who use lines like “I’m on my way to see Tony, he’s the only one who can relieve my stress,” as a warm up, but do you really need 10 minutes of that? In 10 minutes they already could have done a nice combo of cock sucking, doggie, reverse cowgirl, and maybe a possible female orgasm.
Usually what I do is first I preview every scene and then I go back to the scenes that caught my attention. Sort of like:
Scene One – Solo act (cute tits, but could’ve been louder)
Scene Two - Threesome with squirters (major pass*) Scene Three - Solo act followed by threesome with toys (looks decent)
Scene Four - Jenna Haze scene (definitely check that out later)
Scene Five – Another threesome with a squirting surprise (aw man)
…you get the point. I could have really used that extra scene! Though it’s still not guaranteed that every scene will be to your liking, at least when you’re watching a compilation you have more options.
I was complaining about this to one of my guy friends the other day but he just shrugged his shoulders. I tried to think of some way that he could understand –
“You know how sometimes when you get Buffalo wings at KFC you always get a few that are messed up? So you don’t want to get an order of 5 and risk that only 2 will not be funny looking. Instead, you get an order of 10, that way you have plenty to pick out. Well, that’s how I feel about my porn scenes.”
For some reason, he found that hilarious.
(* side note – I can’t stand watching squirters for two reasons. One, they usually frickin’ sneak up on you out of nowhere and two, there always has to be one who sprays the lens. It’s like, great, not only having you completely taken me aback, but now you’ve blurred my focus!)
One Response to “Random Comparison: Porn and Chicken Wings”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Not A Member? Register for Free!
oh my god, you are awesome. so SO true about the time-wasting dialogue. do porn writers get bonuses based on audience frustration? and that’s a great analogy. hahhahahha!