For a Pessimist, I am Pretty Optimistic

While I have never really considered my writing to be controversial, I definitely do not shy away from certain topics such as porn, racism, and abortion. Since these do tend to be touchy topics for some people, I always expect backlash whether it is warranted or not.

Some of the things I’ve been accused of:

-          Being a bitch (My Husband, the Cheapskate)

-          Being a child abuser (I Almost Punched the Bastard in the Face…I don’t care that he was only 9 years old)

-          Being a whiner (Lies Our Parents Told Us)

-          Being a gay man (Do People Change After High School – Short Answer: No)

-          Being a fat cow who doesn’t realize it (Thank God I’m Pretty?)

-          Being a racist (“All Black People Have Syphilis??!!”)

-          Being a feminist who physically abuses men (He Should Have Ducked)

-          Being a selfish bitch who deserves to become barren (The Greatest Lie I Ever Told)

-          Being a whore (I Like to Watch Porn, Once Twice Three Times a Porn Star, Ambien Antics, A Day in the Life of an Agoraphobic, and basically any other post where I show that I am an opinionated female)

So when I posted “No Shit, Cosmo!” I expected some grumblings. I assumed the facts that I talked about sex tips that I used a “naughty” word in the title would be where most of it would come from.  But I didn’t expect that Cosmopolitan had brainwashed so many people to the extent that I would receive hate mail for being critical of a magazine filled with ads for clothing that costs more than it does to rent an apartment.

Somehow, complaining about a magazine where it’s ideals of womanhood are horribly degrading makes me the one who is “demoralizing women.” I am also a “disgrace to the female gender” and  “probably an angry dyke”. The best part? All of these critiques were sent from women!

The only male who responsed said “There’s hope for this female unit.” Um, thanks, I guess?

I don’t know why it disturbed me to get these emails, usually I complain about a critique to a friend and then move on. But then I received a comment where a woman accused me of endorsing rape upon males based on the sentence “After all, Cosmo said most girls should just go ahead and stick a finger in to see if he likes it”.

Really, lady? Are you telling me that you’re smart enough to copy/paste the first half of the sentence, but your brain wasn’t able to comprehend the rest (which was “yet if a guy were to do this sneak attack to a girl, she’d balk”)? You mean to tell me that after reading the entire article, you believed I was condoning Cosmo’s sex tips?! It’s frustrating to know how ridiculous some people can be and I’m more disappointed to know the level women are willing to stoop in order to defend a trashy magazine.

I love to watch America’s Next Top Model marathons. Yes I know, nothing to be proud of, but I have my reasons. Yet, if someone were to say to me “Top Model is just the usual piece of trash reality show,” there’s no way in hell you’d ever hear me reply “How dare you say that! Tyra is a strong and independent woman who has created a show only so she can offer help to aspiring models everywhere…shame on you!”

So let’s just call a spade a spade, shall we? Yes, for some Cosmo provides a guilty pleasure and lets women ogle at celebrities lives, super expensive merchandise, and various quizzes that reminds us of when we were young and used to do these religiously in Seventeen magazine. But please, please, please do not put so much stalk in a magazine whose rape prevention article says that women can easily identify a rapist from 3 simple hand gestures!

Comments RSS