For a Pessimist, I am Pretty Optimistic

For your information, just because someone is pulling their pants up does NOT mean that they have a “fat ass”. As a matter of fact, I was wearing pants that were a size too big for me which meant they kept slipping down. By pulling up my pants, I was trying to do you a service of not subjecting you to staring at my butt crack.

You think I didn’t heard what you said to your father about me? The only reason I didn’t say anything was the fact that your dad blushed such a deep shade of red out of embarrassment. I wonder what bothered him the most, the fact that he realized he had neglected to teach you manners or maybe it’s just that you’re so obnoxious that he knew there was no hope for you?

All I have left to say is that you are very very lucky. If you were my mother’s child, she would have dragged you out of the store by your ear and literally washed your mouth with soap once you got home.

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