For a Pessimist, I am Pretty Optimistic

Is there anyone who doesn’t love a good rant? While those of you who are regulars to FAPIPO know that I have a tendency to bitch about something and anything, my rants always end up turning into ramble. I lack the focus to provide golden rants like Ettarose over at Edge of Sanity (check out her recent one Crosses on the Shoulder)

But even Ettarose can’t be as ridiculously random as this guy who posted in the forum section of the Long Island Subaru Club. Since you need a log-in to view his original post, I’m copy/pasting it here so his awesome randomness can be fully appreciated:

Originally Posted by kevinh211 www.longislandsubaruclub.com

“I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around the rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you.”

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