For a Pessimist, I am Pretty Optimistic

I recently came across the site Dear You, another blog here at Today.com that’s basically a collection of funny open letters to groups or individuals. I’ve cracked up at many a letter on the site and today I started thinking: what if I were, even for just one day, to do the same? There are so many people I encounter during my day and sometimes their oddness or stupidity is wondrous -

Dear Guy Who Got Upset When I Tripped Over His Laptop,      

Okay, I understand how carrying a laptop can be a pain, but you seemed to have been doing just fine going up the stairs. Yet when you extend the handle and rolled the bag behind you (leaving two people’s worth of space between you and the bag) in Penn Station at rush hour, you shouldn’t be annoyed at me that it tripped me up. Maybe the floor isn’t the best place to drag your expensive machinery around on?

Dear Lady with Stroller,

Do you really think it’s such a smart idea when crossing the street to push the stroller ahead of you and then look to see if there’s any oncoming traffic? The worst part is that you’re not the only person who does this! I am completely baffled as to your logic.

Dear Girl Who Keeps Crashing into Me When I Go on Break,

Why are you always so surprised when the elevator door opens and I attempt to go out? Do you think it’s just some magical floating metal box that’s there only for your disposal?

Dear Guy Pushing Around an Empty Dolly,

Get back to work! (Inside joke at my husband’s expense)

Dear Group of Delivery Guys Who Stand in the Same Spot for Hours and Catcall,

Get back to work as well! And do you have to be so obvious? Did you ever think that maybe instead of calling me “Hey Mami!” and getting a glare from me, you could instead say “Hey you look very pretty,” and get a gorgeous smile in response?

Dear UPS Guy Changing His Pants in the Back of his Truck with the Doors Open,

We can see you!

Dear Lady Holding Everyone up on the Stairwell,

If your shoes prevent you from going down the stairs then maybe you shouldn’t wear them.

Dear Large Group of Tourists,

Must all 8 of you hold hands…are you trying to clothesline everyone else?

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